The past

As I sit and stare into this empty abyss I like to call my life, I cannot help but wonder, as most of us do...Now what? As we live each and everyday, as we come up on "Big Events" in our lives, we feel so attached to the past--we never see "now" what will be our "I remember when" 's *with a smile on our face* or maybe *a frown escorted by a tear in the eye.* Out of self pity almost, we look to our past and wish of, dream of going back. And we sit and wish for the future to hurry up. Why? So we can miss the past again? So we can miss the TODAY we are wishing away? So my goal for today: Take advantage of every moment. And if i decide to spend a moment in silence-doing nothing, thinking of nothing-I am going to be ever so thank full in the future that i took a moment to rest when i could. For in the future, some day, I will say, I need to rest more. And then i can reply to myself, oh wait, I have already done that. =) What is it we like so much about the past anyways? Youth. Freedom. Love. No Worries. Carelessness. The invincibility we all believed we had...? When I do look back, I cannot recall the the details of my first communion, or confirmation, the details of the softball tourney, or even the first day of middle school, high school, or my senior year...the so called "Big Events." But i can remember the nothings in between. So the now whats have purpose and that empty abyss has been filled with meaning -- even though it may seem to lack the "Big Stuff" all those little stuffs are taking up plenty of room. No more wasting away on the past. I am going to build my life on the now, on my Today, the most important day of my life.